Today was unfortunately my first bout with homesickness. I'd felt tinges of missing home prior to today but prior to today I was able to sort of filibuster and then overpoweringly defeat the beast with good times and general excitement. Today I lost that control and there was a bit of an all-out homesick type of feeling. I'm a bit disappointed that it only took 2-3 weeks, though I believe that that's roughly normal.
It started early in the day, as I had to be up early for a class that I didn't know I had to be up early for until yesterday. I was up late last night so that wasn't a good combination. But it was after that class that things got a bit strange, as I was talking to my Government lecturer and she was saying how great it was to watch the election coverage and Obama's inauguration. And then when I mentioned that I was from Boston she told me that she had spent last month in Boston and couldn't stop talking about how great it was, mentioning several sites and alluding to the culture and whatnot.
But I was doing just fine for the rest of the day. Then I had a 3 hour class, which was a bit of a drag, and then I came back to the flat and was sitting around with my roommates and I really don't know what happened. I'm content enough, I suppose, to blame it on being overtired and having spent 5 hours in class today. But my heart area felt extremely heavy and I couldn't even look at my flatmates because I felt like such intense sadness must have shown in my face because it was consuming all of me. I just desperately missed home. I had to just get up and go to my room and I allowed myself to indulge in the feeling for a bit. I read a passage from All the Pretty Horses that I had the heavy, heavy misfortune of stumbling upon on the plane ride to this country (I always have terrible luck with things of that nature) (the book is terrific though and all should read if you have not already):
They were saddened that he was not coming back but they said that a man leaves much when he leaves his own country. They said that it was no accident of circumstance that a man be born in a certain country and not some other and they said that the weathers and seasons that form a land form also the inner fortunes of men in their generations and are passed on to their children and are not so easily come by otherwise.
At that point I questioned what I was allowing myself to do and I got myself out of the room and went to KMart and at last bought myself some pillows. Two, to be exact. After this purchase I felt much better about myself. The Marxist would likely argue that this has something to do with consumerism and arbitrary gratification, but I actually think it is more deeply connected to a suspicion that soon, hopefully, the crick that has developed in my neck over the last 2 weeks will be gone. I also think getting off-campus on my own for the first time was good, as it's generally something I enjoy doing in Boston. I also stumbled upon a newspaper page on the ground on the way back that had a big picture of the White House and that helped as well.
In addition, a well-timed phone call for some volleyball that never manifested but did result in some swimming in the pool that has recently been reopened (note: it was skinny dipping, turns out. And the question of how to deal with the security guards that came just to watch the skinny dipping but did not act and were subsequently also caught on camera.) and a couple episodes of 24 have me feeling significantly better and rather excited for what should be an action-packed 4 day weekend.
I don't know why I chose to share this but I felt like I should. Perhaps because if anybody else starts to feel homesick I can sympathize with what an intense, even overpowering, feeling it is. Also, likely because I think it best that I encourage all who have not yet done so to get pillows. The very thought of having pillows tonight brightened my mood tenfold. Finally, I think every good blog deserves a legendary and epic tale of adversity and vindication. Kidding, of course.
In other notes:
I have joined the Ultimate club and think I will thoroughly enjoy Monday nights at Murdoch with a disc and some good company.
I bloody love eating peanut butter out of the jar.
I am thoroughly enjoying, from quite afar, the A-Rod saga. I particularly enjoyed the 37 second pause in his press conference where he was trying so so so hard to force a tear before thanking (not apologizing to?) his teammates.
A job, I think I've at last decided, is a good idea and will keep me busy and introduce me to some people and I think I will go hunting for one tomorrow.
To end this on a positive note as is called for, here are some pictures.